Giving up the girl I like

Know that I said I would post only on 5th Dec, but just needed to get something off my chest.

Today, during service, the sermon was about pleasing God and seeking what put a smile on His face, casting all thing that displeases Him and distractions. Certain topics was touched on, including obsession with manga, secular music. Till it came to boy-girl relationships.

I remembered telling God that if the time came for me to give up my feelings for her, that He would tell me. I think that sign came today. Some might think that whether I give up or not is of not much matter since she is already leaving, but it's much deeper. Those close to me who knows my situation knows it's much deeper.

It's difficult to give her up. Yeah, the irony being she dun even know me, but she is someone whom i think is great, and one of a kind.

In my life up till now, only 2 girls have that impact on me. To make me want to look at her forever, to be ridiculously shy and stupid when she is around, make my heart flutter rapidly and just being near her makes me happy and excited and nervous at the same time. And she is one of them.

At the altar, I asked God, why did He make me fall head over heels, legs, thighs, ankles and feet for her when in the end she is leaving. As Brother Darren prayed for me and I walked up to my seat, I finally understood why.

The 2 girls that I liked in the past shared the same thing in common. They had no idea who on earth i was, yeah, that sad. But though we never had any interaction, they both impacted me greatly. The first one had me picking up Japanese and guitar, and the present one had me decided on being a better person, the best God meant for me to be in fact. A better person for God and for the girl He plans for me.

I can say that God put these experiences in my life to make me grow as a person and in Him.
I do not know if i can ever find another girl who moved me like she did but i have to give my feelings for her up.

Just wanna say that you are the best girl i ever met in my life, I pray that you will meet someone who loves you unconditionally and u will have a God-centered relationship.

Thank you. Take care. God bless.