Wednesday was a day where my faith in God was tested. I was coughing for so so many days, among other stuff, doubts flooded my mind. I asked God why he has not cured me of my 25 days plus cough, and it was quite bad. Even after all my prayers, and fren's prayers. I wanted Him to talk to me, but i couldnt get it. I was beginning to complain to God, and at one point, contemplate about just leaving Him altogether. But i was reminded on just waiting upon Him, no matter how bad our situation might be.
It was also during then, i realised how little my faith in Him has been, i can be so pumped up for Him and after 4 days, revert back to that same place of insecurities and doubting Him. So i made up my mind, and just to put my trust in Him, the verse "to live by faith and not by sight" spoke to me as i grappled with my doubts. I knew that it was a trial for me to strengthen my faith in Him, I sensed God knew my walk with Him was becoming stagnant, and through this ordeal, refresh my steps along His side.
My faith has grown, no doubts about that.
During recent days including today, i have been guiding my friends in the art of bodybuilding. Arr, nostalgia. Reminded me of the good ole days, when Joshua first taught me. I finally understood what he gone through with me. Fustration was there, even so for me when i teach my frens, but God say, "put others before yourself". And based on that, i will. We came a long way, eh? My half-brother? Thank God He put you into my life. Hallelujah.
This Saturday will be the last time i see her. Whatever it is, God has plans.
Stronger and stronger, both in the physical and spiritual, thats my goal.
For the miracle of Christ in me, is the mystery that sets me free.
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Being myself to everyone I meet
