I cant take this anymore. Everytime i seek to care and connect with people, it is like a one-way street. Every question i ask, every help i offer, is freakingly taken for granted. I do not do these acts to seek recognition, but i do not like to be taken for a fool either. Why is it that when i am helping people, i have to ask them, remind them, persuade them even. HELLO, isnt this a stupidly, big irony.
When i ask people about their problems, i ask to know how are their lives recently, that's how i keep in touch with people, concern even. But i just feel i am just taken for granted. When people tell me about their problems, i really understand them to a certain point i get depressed with them. It worries me, that they feel the same thing over and over, to an extent it adds on to my emotional baggage on that day. I am just so tired, too tired to bother any longer.
I am gonna be selfish. Why should i even bother anymore...
Thursday, March 12, 2009
I want to sleep !!!
Today, or rather yesterday seeing the time, was stale?
The mixture and confusion of feelings, emotions were carried forward to today. Many stuffs. Anyway, today was the first time i did some sort of cooking. i think. I made lemongrass tea, had a fun time chopping, i think i wanna take up cooking as a part-time hobby, hehe. Gonna learn from Yati. FOC!!!
Went to visit Godma, talked about stuffs and God among many others. It was nice talking about God with a relative, since i come from a taoist family background.
Having insomnia from frequently sleeping at late hours. So I went filing my pictures. Precious memories of cycling trips and gatherings with classmates. Arr... good times. Then i looked at her photos, kinda miss her. Oh wells. Nothing much i can do anymore either.
The mixture and confusion of feelings, emotions were carried forward to today. Many stuffs. Anyway, today was the first time i did some sort of cooking. i think. I made lemongrass tea, had a fun time chopping, i think i wanna take up cooking as a part-time hobby, hehe. Gonna learn from Yati. FOC!!!
Went to visit Godma, talked about stuffs and God among many others. It was nice talking about God with a relative, since i come from a taoist family background.
Having insomnia from frequently sleeping at late hours. So I went filing my pictures. Precious memories of cycling trips and gatherings with classmates. Arr... good times. Then i looked at her photos, kinda miss her. Oh wells. Nothing much i can do anymore either.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Ya so gonna refer to this one day, haha
NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying Whatever YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning t! his is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying Whatever YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning t! his is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Priorities... God bless you
Reading Maxine's blog, i thought of this, thanks to God's wisdom.
Sometimes in the course of our life, we tend to envy people and wonder why our life stinks in comparison to theirs.
Yeah, i had that thought before. I was reading somebody's blog. She had a brand new camera, expensive if i might add, and as i read, she wrote she did not know what she was looking for in life, if i can remember correctly. I was wondering to myself, " Why is she so blessed, and why do i have difficulties even in affording a comfortable shoe." Asked God right there and then, why was there such a distance in our situations. I was kinda displeased so to speak, disgruntled.
God brought a thought to my mind. "Is having such things going to get you to heaven? Is having many good friends going to get you to heaven even?". I replied, "Nope, it is my relationship with you that is going to give me eternal life." At that moment, having a built body, playing guitar the best, etc, seemed so small.
Why am i chasing after these "treasures" of life which do not last, when there is a treasure God has in store for me that surpasses all these by a long, long, long shot. A treasure that is eternal.
Riches aint going to get me to heaven, materiality aint going to do it either. An intimate relationship with my Father in Heaven is what matters. If we grasp that truth, we WILL experience TRUE FREEDOM and VICTORY in our lives.
So what if the person next door is living a good life he or she doesnt deserve, really, gotta ask ourselves, so what?
I will rest in the fact that God allows these situations into our lives to grow and nurture us. His plans are not meant to harm us, but to prosper us.
He is a faithful God, He doesnt let me or you go through it alone, if we trust in Him, He will lift us up above our trials, and be victorious, not just mere survivors, soaring on eagles' wings.
Like the grass is green and Singapore is a small red dot, this is a fact, not a maybe, could be.
Faith yo, is all it takes.
Take His hand and enter the light and love that embraces, where shame and guilt has no place.....
Sometimes in the course of our life, we tend to envy people and wonder why our life stinks in comparison to theirs.
Yeah, i had that thought before. I was reading somebody's blog. She had a brand new camera, expensive if i might add, and as i read, she wrote she did not know what she was looking for in life, if i can remember correctly. I was wondering to myself, " Why is she so blessed, and why do i have difficulties even in affording a comfortable shoe." Asked God right there and then, why was there such a distance in our situations. I was kinda displeased so to speak, disgruntled.
God brought a thought to my mind. "Is having such things going to get you to heaven? Is having many good friends going to get you to heaven even?". I replied, "Nope, it is my relationship with you that is going to give me eternal life." At that moment, having a built body, playing guitar the best, etc, seemed so small.
Why am i chasing after these "treasures" of life which do not last, when there is a treasure God has in store for me that surpasses all these by a long, long, long shot. A treasure that is eternal.
Riches aint going to get me to heaven, materiality aint going to do it either. An intimate relationship with my Father in Heaven is what matters. If we grasp that truth, we WILL experience TRUE FREEDOM and VICTORY in our lives.
So what if the person next door is living a good life he or she doesnt deserve, really, gotta ask ourselves, so what?
I will rest in the fact that God allows these situations into our lives to grow and nurture us. His plans are not meant to harm us, but to prosper us.
He is a faithful God, He doesnt let me or you go through it alone, if we trust in Him, He will lift us up above our trials, and be victorious, not just mere survivors, soaring on eagles' wings.
Like the grass is green and Singapore is a small red dot, this is a fact, not a maybe, could be.
Faith yo, is all it takes.
Take His hand and enter the light and love that embraces, where shame and guilt has no place.....
Friday, March 6, 2009
It is time !!
Feeling a sense of frustration, i think the soreness of my legs has a part in it. Cant walked properly, thank God the movie outing was postponed, haha.
Whatever things i am facing now, i will thank God and move on, make the best out of it.
I have started back on track for my body-building and gonna push myself, making my body my slave for God's kingdom. That's a goal i have to constantly remind myself of, stop the grumbling and just push forth.
Gonna start the habit of running in the morning too. SO........
Come with me if you want to train.
Whatever things i am facing now, i will thank God and move on, make the best out of it.
I have started back on track for my body-building and gonna push myself, making my body my slave for God's kingdom. That's a goal i have to constantly remind myself of, stop the grumbling and just push forth.
Gonna start the habit of running in the morning too. SO........
Come with me if you want to train.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
There is a first thigh for everything
Today, woke up at 5am, with only 2 hours of sleep. Met Arjun and started our jog, I must say I thought i would not be able to handle the distance due to a poor stamina. But well, thanks to God, i finished the route with much much energy to spare, haha. Nice run in the morning with a good friend, the simple things that put a smile on my big face. I gonna run lots now, the feeling of sweat on your back, cool, fresh air, absense of traffic, addicted, hehe.
Then headed to Yio Chu Kang gym for my initiation ceremony into squats, hehe, quite a big thing for me. Joshua kept asking me to do squats since the start of time, but i refused as the exercise would stun my growth. Well, i asked some people if i am tall enough, etc. Apparently, they think i am, hmm, contrary to what i think. Decided to do it, as i prefered or rather needed overall strength.
I tell ya, squats aint the nicest thing, in fact, it's like a torture. Why i do it? If ya dunno, thanks for reading my blog for the first time :) :) Weights pressing on your shoulder and against your neck bone. OUCHIE. When ya pushing the weight up, all i can say is that the feeling is a manifestation of standing up against difficulties in life. The numb, helpless feeling. But i said 2 words, and just pushed up. It makes things easier for the motion and life.
Joshua kept saying "Stop whining, start squating". My bro has been doing squats for a long time, I thank God he is mentoring me, the exercise is potentially deadly if done wrongly, hehe.
I am not sure if i can walk tomorrow, the soreness is gonna be awesome. Awesomely sore.
"FOR GOD!!!" urggh...
Then headed to Yio Chu Kang gym for my initiation ceremony into squats, hehe, quite a big thing for me. Joshua kept asking me to do squats since the start of time, but i refused as the exercise would stun my growth. Well, i asked some people if i am tall enough, etc. Apparently, they think i am, hmm, contrary to what i think. Decided to do it, as i prefered or rather needed overall strength.
I tell ya, squats aint the nicest thing, in fact, it's like a torture. Why i do it? If ya dunno, thanks for reading my blog for the first time :) :) Weights pressing on your shoulder and against your neck bone. OUCHIE. When ya pushing the weight up, all i can say is that the feeling is a manifestation of standing up against difficulties in life. The numb, helpless feeling. But i said 2 words, and just pushed up. It makes things easier for the motion and life.
Joshua kept saying "Stop whining, start squating". My bro has been doing squats for a long time, I thank God he is mentoring me, the exercise is potentially deadly if done wrongly, hehe.
I am not sure if i can walk tomorrow, the soreness is gonna be awesome. Awesomely sore.
"FOR GOD!!!" urggh...
Troubling
Boy-girl relationship is too bothersome and it really troubles my mind. At my age of going 19, i cannot handle it, nor do i really want to. Having a girlfriend, yeah happy and all. But i do not think that in the end, it is really something i want or is able to handle, for now at least. Being best friends is good for me. Right now, focusing my time on God is more important rather than getting troubled or having my attention diverted from that of God. As my brother, Joshua says, after NS, after NS. Gotta sleep, peace.
Monday, March 2, 2009
It is GOOD !!!
Today was good. Time alone with God, is really enlightening and enriching to my spiritual life, soul. Every truth, every revelation i received, I cant help but praise Him. My life is so much more, more, more with Him at the helm.
Though i am a Christian, I did not read His word regularly, TAWG was irregular and far between. When i made my decision to stop attending church 2 weeks ago, i wanted to get on a more intimate level with God. Yeah, i know the irony, but my half-brother knows what i am going through. Do not take my absence as a sign of backslide, i want to know and love God more and more.
I am gonna spend more time with God, and TAWG shall not be a burden but something i look towards. The abundance blessed upon me is "wow".
Friends, when i use "wow" it is because i cant find any word in my 18 years of English education to describe that feeling. Only things of God can make me go, well, "wow".
Today after receiving His truth, i was filled with joy, i was prompted to pick up my guitar and sing a song of praise, a new song. I was doubtful, " I cant sing properly, cant strum properly either, not to mention doing both at the same time." But i just took my lovely guitar out of its casing and strum the chords of Mighty to Save. Words came out of mouth, prompted by my desire to praise God.
I strum and sang a new song. Though by the world's standard, it was below par, but i know for a fact that God is happy and pleased with it, and that is what matters to me. A question for thought, "should i care about what people think, even what my Christian friends think, or should i be more concerned about the thoughts of God, who is more important than 6 billion people combined?".
I WILL USE MY LOVELY GUITAR FOR GOD. PRAISE GOD, I LOVE YOU !!!!
A verse for thought, "For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power."
Though i am a Christian, I did not read His word regularly, TAWG was irregular and far between. When i made my decision to stop attending church 2 weeks ago, i wanted to get on a more intimate level with God. Yeah, i know the irony, but my half-brother knows what i am going through. Do not take my absence as a sign of backslide, i want to know and love God more and more.
I am gonna spend more time with God, and TAWG shall not be a burden but something i look towards. The abundance blessed upon me is "wow".
Friends, when i use "wow" it is because i cant find any word in my 18 years of English education to describe that feeling. Only things of God can make me go, well, "wow".
Today after receiving His truth, i was filled with joy, i was prompted to pick up my guitar and sing a song of praise, a new song. I was doubtful, " I cant sing properly, cant strum properly either, not to mention doing both at the same time." But i just took my lovely guitar out of its casing and strum the chords of Mighty to Save. Words came out of mouth, prompted by my desire to praise God.
I strum and sang a new song. Though by the world's standard, it was below par, but i know for a fact that God is happy and pleased with it, and that is what matters to me. A question for thought, "should i care about what people think, even what my Christian friends think, or should i be more concerned about the thoughts of God, who is more important than 6 billion people combined?".
I WILL USE MY LOVELY GUITAR FOR GOD. PRAISE GOD, I LOVE YOU !!!!
A verse for thought, "For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power."
Sunday, March 1, 2009
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