Drained but not empty

Recent days have been a roller-coaster ride of emotions. Feeling down in the doldrums one moment, and joyful the other.

Sad, depressed due to ITP issues, financial issues. Cant go for Overseas ITP due to lack of finances, just felt that it is a very good opportunity missed, for so many reasons. Urrgh.

Doing local ITP kinda scares me, due to lack of familiar faces, working enviroment, and after the Mandarin Oriental hotel stint of '07, i got rather traumatised, haha.

It is getting difficult to continue giving for faith promise, i guess this is where faith comes in. Do not know where the money is going to come from and all. I would like to buy certain things, but i gotta cut down on spending even on food. Gotta trust in God and not place my security on money.

The reason why i feel joyful is that when i am feeling hopeless by my circumstances, He gives me hope. Another batch of hopelessness makes its arrival, and when i am feeling emotionally drained, He renews me yet again.



I wanna fly in an aeroplane.

Another trial, another test. Gotta rise above it. Need God.

Woots. Glory to God :)

Cyclist club training was awesome!! I thought we would not be able to handle the juniors due to the lack of manpower, but by God's grace we did, haha. My stamina is still there, thank God that my recent bout of illness did not lower it :)) My abdominal strength was kinda weak? Gotta improve on it!! Mingled with the juniors a little, rather fun. Adrenaline pump was there.

Rather happy to see Chao Jing, taking the step of leadership from being rather passive in the past. Proud of you, buddy !! We managed to make the juniors enthusiastic, how much, i dunno, haha. We all had fun, while leading, which is important :) Things for the cyclist club are starting to get into motion, club shirts, bikes and all. What we need is regular attendance from the juniors :)

Another thing to give God the glory, was that though i slept late and woke up early, i still felt energetic the whole day. This is a rare occurance for me, who imitates a highly-inefficient capacitor. Basically, take long time to charge, but depletes in a short time.

Was also rather irritated, frustrated due to project work, team-mates and stuff, but i really thank God for giving me peace and taking away the anger. One thing about me is i can get super angry for a short time, but after that the anger kinda dissipates.

Gotta go to school early tomorrow, and there is a high chance i will feel an "awesome" ache too :)

P.S I hardly take photos, explaining the lack of it :)

Reporting for duty :))

Rasseru Kurosaki, Official Non-Commissioned Spiritual Parent reporting for duty :> ONCSP. Hehe, rather lengthy eh.

Just had my interview with Sister Gwen. Went nicely :) Gonna have more commitments and responsibilities now, but it is good :) More opportunities to serve and grow. May God be with me every step of the way, guiding, protecting and mentoring me :))


Thanks to God, my results for the MSTs were fantastic, all glory to Him alone :)

Electromagnetic Devices- 97
Photovoltaic Principles and Materials- 95
Engineering Mathematics II (A)- 100
Sensors and Instrumentation- 100
Japanese Language- 98

THANK YOU :)))

Gonna have another night-cycling reccee later, a little anime and some sleep before heading out. Ciaossu :)

Girls

I got a small problem now. When i see girls, i got this stupid nagging thought/feeling in me, "When am i going to get a girlfriend?" Yea, i got such problems too :)

I think i have reached the "despo stage" in a guy's life. Well, i am sure it will be a passing phase.

However, this is not a question of "I want, I get". I do not want to get into a relationship for the sake of getting into one, be cool or any other reasons other than that of love, one that is approved by God.

Many reasons:
1) It is a relationship that is protected, mentored by God
2) It is based on the definition of love by God, not by the world
3) I am assured however it turns out, it will be for the best
4) I do not want to be in a situation where i wake up one day and the "love" is gone.
5) It ain't a game
6) Some like the thrill, but i want someone i can spend my life with
7) With God, i am assured my wife and i will still be kissing at old age :)) "rather than being strangers under a same roof"

But with all this said, i still find the idea of me being attached far from reality.

Reasons being:
1) I dun think i am "attractive" to girls. My brother took all the handsome genes. God has blessed him. :))
2) I am not confident around girls. 10 years in monkhood might have some part to play.
3) I am rather lame at times. "People who can walk, dun come near me." Arr, see see, what was the first word u thought ?


Well, i am trusting in God for the girl He planned for me uber long ago. And when she comes, i pray God will whack me on the head and say she is the one. So i can be sure, and be courageous to say "HI", and have his blessing for a love that is pleasing to Him. Because if it pleases Him, it most certainly will also please me :)))))) WOOTS.

Saturday's night fever literally :)

Yesterday's Saturday service in church was uber memorable. Best place to be on a Saturday night, haha. Before that, headed to church at 9.20am, 20 minutes shy of being on time. Met up with the TINT crew and started making the props for the event that was to be held later. Made a big spectacles to go with the event (STARE WHAT STARE). Enjoyed it :)

When work on the spectacles was almost completed, Josh went on to do "something" for his project. It is very complicated for me to describe what he did, so "something" would suffice :) Funny things happened while trying to put on his metal suit, piece by piece. The end result was the "walking penknife/disco ball". Layman terms...

Rushed off to briefing on our roles for the event. Joshua, Sanjay and me were the "Men in Black". Had to dress in black shirts and wear black masks. Our role was simple, if the contestants answer wrongly, we rush out to whack them with balloon clappers, if correct, shake their hands.

Super excited, yet nervous at the same time. The reason being Josh and I have variable amounts of stage fright, we thought it would be OK since we were wearing masks. Problem... the mask just covers the eyes. It's like we were going for a masked prom... But Josh said something that soothe the nervous beast in me, "We are doing this for God......." I kinda forgot the second part of the sentence, seeing that after hearing the first part I was like "YES, OK, LET'S GO MAN" in my mind already :))

As the event started, Sis Gwen introduced us as, "The Men in Black, they are 3 guys who are strong and hunky..." We were behind the door, with "dunno what to say" reactions. Some things didnt go as plan, our choreography went a little haywired due to impromptu planning, haha. I was supposed to jump into Sanjay's and Joshua's hands during the introduction. During our practise i wasn't running, so we excecuted the movement well. During the real thing, i was running fast, the momentum caused me to whack Sanjay's nose and Joshua's chin when i jumped. Didnt plan for that to happen -_-"" But everyone laughed, so we achieved the comical results :)

It was so hilarious, whacking people with balloon clappers, then shacking their hands. According to Phyllis, it wasn't the balloon clappers that scared her, but rather us rushing out the door suddenly like mad, crazy barbarians. I hit Lois and also shaked her hand, who by the way, leads Team Invent. I hit the boss.... next meeting.... sure....

!!! It was a first time for me to take part in an event like that. Stepping out of comfort zones is very scary at times, but it always bears unexpected results. In this case, I have grown bolder, and more confident. THANK YOU GOD FOR THE OPPORTUNITY!!!

Oh yeah, having my SP i.e Spritual Parenting interview next friday. Wonder how it will turn out.

Rasseru Kurosaki, peace out !!

試験が終わりました！ ばんざい！ Exams over :)

Exams over :)) My brain is dead, cant think properly.

Today's paper was rather manageable, everyone left early before the time was up. I was checking my answers rather thoroughly, by the time i finished, everyone left. I felt a brain block before the exam started, couldn't think clearly, kept checking my answers, haiz.

Caught up with some homies at the mrt, and impromptuly joined them for window-shopping, seeing there was time before gym session.

I cant seem to type anymore, brain has reached maximum loading capacity for the day. Gotta help out in church tomorrow at 8am. Power.

Want to sleep, need to sleep, so just sleep.