Of Ip Man 2 and Racism

Ip Man 2 is a very very nice movie. The action and blurred punches, c.o.o.l.i.o.s.

Watching it got me super pumped up. Not just because of the heart-thumping action but also the emotions against racism resounding in me.

I admit that there are strands of racism in me, i am a harsh critic of myself. A single strand of racism is still racism, as much as there is no such thing as being a little pregnant. Be it PRCs, or Bangladeshi workers, the groups of people being at the receiving ends of racism, they still deserve as much respect as the next man/women.

One question i will ask myself when racism strikes in me is, "Are they not loved by the same God who loves me too?"

It is time for me to live out God's will. To love, not hate. To pray, not judge.

Of the past

Looking at some pictures about a particular girl, it came to my mind. Let what was not meant to be, to be truly forgotten.

I got to trust in God for that girl that is to come. For i want a love that does not degrade with time, the way i see it, it is only possible with God. When i have a relationship, it will be a love triangle. God, her and me.

As i told a good friend, let our hearts be mature first. I am not capable of love if i do not know it, nor experience it. I want to understand and appreciate the love of God. His love was and is always here, but whether i appreciate it is another matter.

I need and want to take off the sunglasses that makes me see superficially. For if i keep wearing the sunglasses i cannot see the true radiance of people that shines from within. For that true radiance defines that person.

I will just wait for that day when i can say that precious 3 words to the girl i was meant for.

With God guiding me, i will know which girl is meant for me, and i for her. I choose to find the girl by God's way, nor by the ways of the world. I choose certainty over possibilities of the "right" one.

My hobbies

Well, it has come to my recent realization that all my 4 hobbies have not seen much improvements in terms of the amount of time since i started with them.

Cycling, Japanese, Guitar, Gym

There is always a "what if i had been consistent". Well, i would be a muscular Japanese-fluent guitarist who cycles on rough terrain.

I have got to keep trying and trying for that breakthrough. And after i have it, try again for the next one.

Have been learning lots about the bicycle as a machine as a result of searching for bicycle parts, haha. Nice.

Never give up, never surrender. It is the attitude of a person striving for life. Do not need to be a spartan for that.

Our nature

Just pondering on some stuff today. Hmm, i really like to be a pastor or rather a teacher of God's truth. It is not the post that matters but how much i am willing to go to teach someone.

It is our human nature to feel anger, lust and all kind of funky, weird stuff. For me that does not serve as a valid excuse, nor does it for anyone borned again in Christ. For are we not given the ability to say, "Yes, it is my human nature to feel such feelings, BUT it is also my nature as one set free in Christ to feel the other way."

Hmm, i can't wait to buy a new bicycle or build one up from parts for that matter. I really do need to seek God on this one, I do not want to spend on it only to regret. If He does not want me to buy a bicycle, i won't then. I prayed about it, so it is now in God's hands :)

Oh, i am wondering if i should go to Kushinbo this Friday after exams. so temptingly delicious.

Arr, He is good.

Yesterday was a mixture of many disheartening events. A few things happened that weighed my emotions down.

But right now, thinking about yesterday. I realised God cheered me up in a tangible way.

I messaged 2 friends to go cycling in the night. And they agreed !!! One notable fact is that I have been asking them for a rather long time to no avail, haha. And they agreed readily yesterday :)

Right now, i am filled with joy and a zest for life once again, hehe. Situations in this world takes you down, but God has only one intention of bringing us up, up, up.

Riding

Yesterday's night ride with Kenneth Quek was nice!! Thank God for a protected night :)

It went as such, set off for his house at 9pm. Reached at around 9.12pm, guess i am a cautious cyclist :) Cycled past RJC, gosh, quite a big JC. MacRitche reservoir at night had a different beauty from day. I wanted to take a photo but seeing my phone had only a bar of battery left, i captured the image in my memory :)

On the way, after getting down an overhead bridge, i realized i left my pouch opened. My handphone was missing. I did not feel panicky but was thinking, "oh man, my contacts, how my club is going to contact me, etc, etc." And Kenneth being a good friend, thought i was joking. He called my handphone and THANK GOD someone picked it up, haha. The girl who picked it up was just like 10 metres away from us? I lost my choco puff, the one with a marshmellow center but it's okay, haha.

Other highlights of the ride was finding a cool stunt park at Bishan, cheap and tasty kway chap and of course the ride itself.

Ahhh, i like cycling. Health benefits, bonding with friends, great sceneries, good food, memorable experiences. The times of a black stallion :p

Thank God for His protection :))

Wants and commitments

Hmm, thank God for the Ang Baos :)

I got 2 things that i want to buy, a mountain bike of my own and an acoustic guitar. 2 ways to get it is the scholarship money or working at Universal Studios on Sundays. If possible, i will do both. The only thing is i am packed for Year 3. For some reason, i am involved in Youth Olympics Games and i need to go for training. Academics and Final Year Project. The Cyclist club is getting started on the right lane, haha, need to put effort in it. Going to serve in Church. And the cherry on top is my decision to go work.

Also i need to buck up on my guitar, Japanese language and cycling skills. Well well, it is going to be one enriching year :)) Oh yeah, almost forgot, GYM !!

Going to count on God for everything, stop worrying and start "faithing". I got to stop dwelling in TV and Internet, i have been saying that for a long time now, got to take a course of action.

Kaiji is coming to Singapore. Yui is singing. Russell is going to watch it.

Tired.

I think this is the 4th time i have been sick within a year. First, it starts with a sore throat then i get the full package of flu, fever and cough.

My walk with God is very much shaky, do not really want to talk about it. Feels crappy, thoughts are like a roller-coaster, up, down, positive, negative.

Man, i am super way back in school work. It is kinda ironic, seeing that my life is not that sedentary, but i get sick more often than an otaku.

Well, I am thinking of picking up drums. I have little talent for music and seem to be struggling with guitar as it is.

I really need to hear from God. Or i might be out of the race.

CAMP IGNORMOUS WOOOOO!!!!

WOAH, church camp was waaaa, i do not know how to say.

Experienced God's presence , renewed my love and dedication towards Jesus. It was awesome.

Leading my group Yellow Stallion 10 as an assistant group leader was superb. Thank God for the opportunity to lead and grow my fellow brothers and sisters :)) Oh yes, the camp was at Port Dickson, Tiara Resort in Malaysia. By God's blessing, i came up with a group cheer that had everyone laughing together, woots :))

Time of worship, service and closing in with God was a period of growth, understanding and knowing about my God. haha, I cried when leaders prayed over me. Yeah man, jumping, singing out loud, shouting to Jesus :)

Looking back at the time when i had depression and wanted to commit suicide. Though fear of death stopped me, there was a voice that said, "If you died now, you would miss out on all the possible good things in the future." I am convinced it is God's voice.

What are my good things? Beside God's provision and blessings in my life. Leading my fellow siblings in Christ, praising God for His salvation in me, laughing and enjoying time with my siblings are something that makes me want to say, "Thank you, God, for indeed without you, my life would not be life."

I have rededicated my life to Jesus again :)) It will be a commitment with Jesus by my side :)

Oh yeah, this group cheer, i am going to put it up here :)

Yoyoyo, this is a pseudo-rap that will end as soon as it starts.
We are company Stallion
Fierce as a lion
Yellow division
Of His Holy nation
Platoon number 10
10 upon 10
Fullness in Christ
Children of God
Given His gospel to...
PREACH IT!!!

Praise God for the inspiration :))

So many fun, awesome things happened in the camp, so so many yo.

Thank you, God, for these good things will not be possible without you in my life.

another level of growth

Went for camp group leaders' meeting yesterday, it was good :)

I want to grow my members spiritually, aiding them in their relationship with God. But i won't do this by my knowledge but by my Lord's wisdom. I do not know how it is going to turn out, but i will commit every speech, action and thought to God.

I want to go to a deeper level of faith, trust and love in God.

He has been giving me many leadership positions this year, haha, it is growing me :)

Oh and Saturday was transition exercise, it was rather ironic. I was out of the "brotherhood" and into a new cell last year. And now, i am out of the "new" cell into the "brotherhood", haha. But as Joshua said, it is for a purpose. Agreed :)

But either way, we are still one big family whom i treasure :)

Oh, and today was EID test, praise God :))

It is tiring but God will provide

Having these commitments are rather taxing, worrying about proposals, worrying about trainings. Worrying about what committee members will think of me.

I cast my worries unto God, for He cares for me. Done. It is not an act of irresponsibility but rather a command from God.

Lately, doubts and questions keep popping into my head, on top of many concerns. I am going to trust in God to deliver me out of it.

Hallelujah :)

Gotta praise God :)

Things are turning for the better in the club. Today's meeting was so much lively, people started to speak up more. Discussion has certainly become more active, and there are more participation in the club matters. Really, God has answered my prayers :)) Someone i thought was quiet made suggestions during the meeting. Pleasantly Surprised !!! Happy day, Happy day.

God blessed me in another area with regards to the club. *secret*

The Solar Powered Vehicle Competition at NP today was really an enriching experience. And i just realised.... i forgot to take pictures.... but... a video on a test run i did take :) Enjoy. But erhh.. the first 10 seconds or more shows the car being charged by the floodlights :)



Really looked like some extra-terrestrial scene eh ???

Track built by us (ITP students)

Cherry-O :>>

Gonna rise above all this stress !!!

I got a shock from the last meeting. I found out that i will becomethe president for the club when term starts, not the next academic year. Shocking !!!

I am not sure if my fellow club mates will be supporting me, sacrificing their time for the club. For some reason, i was the only year 2 in the meeting.... Unlike Rambo, a one-man show is hard to achieve in reality... There are so many things that need to be settled, but not many people settling them... I am used to hearing from people that i am too stressed up, but Nooooo... Most of the time, they are too relaxed!!

While doing time alone with God today, i was asking God how am i going to do this. He said, "I am enough..." I am going to see by faith and count on God!!!

On top of this, i got to juggle between being the class chairman, academics, church commitments, etc. I am not going to grumble. I have faith that God is using these to make me into a better man :) If a gold ore is not refined through the fire, how can pure gold be obtained?

I will be signing up for water baptism :))

Woots. Saw my fellow people :>

Woots!

Heading home on the train yesterday, i saw a group of school girls chatting. Looking closer, they seemed to be Japanese, and it was confirmed after hearing them speak :>

I felt like fainting from being so blessed. Haha. Had no idea what they were talking about, gotta improve on my language skills!! Kept hearing "yasumi", which means holiday.

Thank God :> Though i am unable to go to Japan presently, i am able to have the chance of seeing and hearing real-life Japanese people :) Makes me want to improve more and faster!!!

Help?

Just need to rant a little.

I feel like I am "alone" in the cyclist club sometimes. Not that i do not have friends there, i am pretty much integrated with them? Just that during meetings, i seem to be the only one talking, giving ideas.

During the recent meeting, it was pretty much the same scenario over again. I talked like 95 percent of the time, while others kept pretty much quiet. I really do not like such a situation. I would like people to be spontaneous, throwing out ideas, to learn, and try to do things outside of their comfort zones.

I pray to God that there will be a change in the cyclist club. People bonding, having fun, spontaneity, willingness to learn, being proactive and seeking to lead. I can't do this alone, I need God and the help of my fellow club mates.

Let go

I do not want to care, i do not want to think.

Anything that frustrates me, i will just block out of my mind. I wanna enjoy the time i have, instead of nonsensical thinking.

Be it people, issues, anger or worries. I do not want to care, i do not want to think. Just not worth my time.

Just. Let. Go.

It is time to enjoy.

Flying high above all these things, and see the light for what it truly is. Not covered by a mirage nor a facade.

A beast

I once punched a classmate on his shoulders because he put the 4-letter vulgarity with a girl whom i liked in the past in a sentence. (a sense of rage just came over me) That was the most the beast ever came out. I wanted to go all out, but i know it was unwise to do so.

I still remember the fights i had with my brother when we were young. When one of us did wrong to the other, it was an all out fight. There was no restrain upon us whatsoever. My face totally changes during those fights, or when i get angry. I think i would have gotten scared if i looked into a mirror and saw how much i changed. My brother and I have gotten out of that phase, praise God.

I hardly let the beast out nowadays. But there are rare times, i just want to let it out. Screaming madly, punching sand bags, letting loose for a while. But punching walls? I am angry, but not to the extent i would go ballistic and hurt myself.

The most nowadays, i would just rant and pray and not think about it. The more we think about it, the angrier we get, blowing things out of proportions.

Do not get me wrong, i do not have a violent tendency, just an average human being.

But under those spectacles, lies something that is sealed by God's truth. Reminds you of Naruto eh?

I do not want to use my strength for violence. It should build others up, not hurt them in any way.

As with other cases of anger, it will subside after 2 or 3 days :))

But SERIOUSLY, you should change. I can't be reminding you over and over again, just to hear you say sorry yet again. I remind you so that you can change, not to hear "sorry".

Girlfriend

The title is misleading :> This might be a long post without pictures, i wont be bothering about language today, haha. straight from the heart.

The reason why crushes are called crushes are that they really crush you, be it taking a toil on my physical health, or torturing my emotional being. As such i have been crushed 3 times, and i guess u would have known by previous posts. It is sometimes too much to handle pining for a girl, what she is doing, not having the guts to go talk to her. It's too much for me.

Recently, girls are distracting me too much. Kinda frustrating... Anyways, as each day goes by, i find how unprepared i am to be in a relationship. I will just wait till God finds the right time, even though in my heart, i yearn to show my love and affection to a girl. (stop puking, i am a sentimental guy) I might be a battery without a bulb. But whether is it a battery that has a short lifespan or leaking or defective, is something that worries me.

It is my prayer to God that she and I will be right in His eyes when we meet. Recently, i just realised what i prayed for. It would mean i could wait for a long time before i get into a relationship. But it's OK, because it is gonna be the best one :>

Guitar takes my mind of certain issues/stuff. The issues/stuff are being girls. I bought my guitar for close to 2 years now. But due to inconsistent practice, i am still very much an amateur. I am gonna focus on it.

On hindsight, my brother having the handsome gene is in a way a good thing for me. Girls are not attracted to me like my brother, hehe. so i dun have to bother about such stuff. And no, i am not deceiving myself.... i was thinking as i was showering and i came to a conclusion that it is a good thing especially in this issue i am facing. And yes, i am thinker, i think whenever, wherever, however?

So peeps, i have a "girlfriend". She has a head, a neck and a body :)

It's time i stop neglecting my guitar.

It was saturday yesterday.

During service, I was going through a spiritual turmoil. The accumulation of doubts about God reached its peak, with nothing happening even at the altar call, i was this close to giving up, ending the walk.

Wanted to talk to Joshua, but he had problems of his own to talk with Bro. Andre. I dun blame you, haha. But thankfully, Sanjay was there. Through him, i was brought out from the cesspool of doubts. Sanjay can be serious at times, just got to..... wait. HAHA. As such, I AM BACK :)

On a less serious note, went to Astons for the first time yesterday. The chicken is juiiiccccyy, tender and flavourful. Though it had quite a bit of burned bits, i still ate it. In other cases, it would be a no-no. Burned bits contain cancer-causing things, you see. I am health conscious at times :)

It is definitely cheaper and tastes better than Botak Jones. Though i have an issue with the portion. Yes, rather big guy, reasonably big appetite, but small wallet. I would go there again, if my wallet gives the go-ahead.

Hmm, i want to talk about a certain love issue. But from my previous experience that ended on a rather awkward note, i will keep this issue to a certain few.


The walk with God is not without trials nor its emotional/mental/spiritual turmoils. But we can count on Him to continue His good work in us :)

A prophesized Victory :)))

I feel so weary in this war with procrastination. I set my mind to do something, be it work or practice, but at the end of the day i accomplished nothing. I feel that i have wasted time that could and would have been put to better use. I do not like that feeling. Nonetheless, i am still NOT gonna give up, there will be a breakthrough :)

And now another spiritual warfare is raging, it is time to lean on God, once again. Got to strengthen my faith, Jesus is my refresher :) A faith so strong that even when the world doubts against God, it still stands unshaken. A faith that is untainted, that comes from Jesus.

My heart cries out... "I need to feel your presence, Lord"