It is tiring but God will provide

Having these commitments are rather taxing, worrying about proposals, worrying about trainings. Worrying about what committee members will think of me.

I cast my worries unto God, for He cares for me. Done. It is not an act of irresponsibility but rather a command from God.

Lately, doubts and questions keep popping into my head, on top of many concerns. I am going to trust in God to deliver me out of it.

Hallelujah :)

Gotta praise God :)

Things are turning for the better in the club. Today's meeting was so much lively, people started to speak up more. Discussion has certainly become more active, and there are more participation in the club matters. Really, God has answered my prayers :)) Someone i thought was quiet made suggestions during the meeting. Pleasantly Surprised !!! Happy day, Happy day.

God blessed me in another area with regards to the club. *secret*

The Solar Powered Vehicle Competition at NP today was really an enriching experience. And i just realised.... i forgot to take pictures.... but... a video on a test run i did take :) Enjoy. But erhh.. the first 10 seconds or more shows the car being charged by the floodlights :)



Really looked like some extra-terrestrial scene eh ???

Track built by us (ITP students)

Cherry-O :>>

Gonna rise above all this stress !!!

I got a shock from the last meeting. I found out that i will becomethe president for the club when term starts, not the next academic year. Shocking !!!

I am not sure if my fellow club mates will be supporting me, sacrificing their time for the club. For some reason, i was the only year 2 in the meeting.... Unlike Rambo, a one-man show is hard to achieve in reality... There are so many things that need to be settled, but not many people settling them... I am used to hearing from people that i am too stressed up, but Nooooo... Most of the time, they are too relaxed!!

While doing time alone with God today, i was asking God how am i going to do this. He said, "I am enough..." I am going to see by faith and count on God!!!

On top of this, i got to juggle between being the class chairman, academics, church commitments, etc. I am not going to grumble. I have faith that God is using these to make me into a better man :) If a gold ore is not refined through the fire, how can pure gold be obtained?

I will be signing up for water baptism :))

Woots. Saw my fellow people :>

Woots!

Heading home on the train yesterday, i saw a group of school girls chatting. Looking closer, they seemed to be Japanese, and it was confirmed after hearing them speak :>

I felt like fainting from being so blessed. Haha. Had no idea what they were talking about, gotta improve on my language skills!! Kept hearing "yasumi", which means holiday.

Thank God :> Though i am unable to go to Japan presently, i am able to have the chance of seeing and hearing real-life Japanese people :) Makes me want to improve more and faster!!!

Help?

Just need to rant a little.

I feel like I am "alone" in the cyclist club sometimes. Not that i do not have friends there, i am pretty much integrated with them? Just that during meetings, i seem to be the only one talking, giving ideas.

During the recent meeting, it was pretty much the same scenario over again. I talked like 95 percent of the time, while others kept pretty much quiet. I really do not like such a situation. I would like people to be spontaneous, throwing out ideas, to learn, and try to do things outside of their comfort zones.

I pray to God that there will be a change in the cyclist club. People bonding, having fun, spontaneity, willingness to learn, being proactive and seeking to lead. I can't do this alone, I need God and the help of my fellow club mates.

Let go

I do not want to care, i do not want to think.

Anything that frustrates me, i will just block out of my mind. I wanna enjoy the time i have, instead of nonsensical thinking.

Be it people, issues, anger or worries. I do not want to care, i do not want to think. Just not worth my time.

Just. Let. Go.

It is time to enjoy.

Flying high above all these things, and see the light for what it truly is. Not covered by a mirage nor a facade.

A beast

I once punched a classmate on his shoulders because he put the 4-letter vulgarity with a girl whom i liked in the past in a sentence. (a sense of rage just came over me) That was the most the beast ever came out. I wanted to go all out, but i know it was unwise to do so.

I still remember the fights i had with my brother when we were young. When one of us did wrong to the other, it was an all out fight. There was no restrain upon us whatsoever. My face totally changes during those fights, or when i get angry. I think i would have gotten scared if i looked into a mirror and saw how much i changed. My brother and I have gotten out of that phase, praise God.

I hardly let the beast out nowadays. But there are rare times, i just want to let it out. Screaming madly, punching sand bags, letting loose for a while. But punching walls? I am angry, but not to the extent i would go ballistic and hurt myself.

The most nowadays, i would just rant and pray and not think about it. The more we think about it, the angrier we get, blowing things out of proportions.

Do not get me wrong, i do not have a violent tendency, just an average human being.

But under those spectacles, lies something that is sealed by God's truth. Reminds you of Naruto eh?

I do not want to use my strength for violence. It should build others up, not hurt them in any way.

As with other cases of anger, it will subside after 2 or 3 days :))

But SERIOUSLY, you should change. I can't be reminding you over and over again, just to hear you say sorry yet again. I remind you so that you can change, not to hear "sorry".

Girlfriend

The title is misleading :> This might be a long post without pictures, i wont be bothering about language today, haha. straight from the heart.

The reason why crushes are called crushes are that they really crush you, be it taking a toil on my physical health, or torturing my emotional being. As such i have been crushed 3 times, and i guess u would have known by previous posts. It is sometimes too much to handle pining for a girl, what she is doing, not having the guts to go talk to her. It's too much for me.

Recently, girls are distracting me too much. Kinda frustrating... Anyways, as each day goes by, i find how unprepared i am to be in a relationship. I will just wait till God finds the right time, even though in my heart, i yearn to show my love and affection to a girl. (stop puking, i am a sentimental guy) I might be a battery without a bulb. But whether is it a battery that has a short lifespan or leaking or defective, is something that worries me.

It is my prayer to God that she and I will be right in His eyes when we meet. Recently, i just realised what i prayed for. It would mean i could wait for a long time before i get into a relationship. But it's OK, because it is gonna be the best one :>

Guitar takes my mind of certain issues/stuff. The issues/stuff are being girls. I bought my guitar for close to 2 years now. But due to inconsistent practice, i am still very much an amateur. I am gonna focus on it.

On hindsight, my brother having the handsome gene is in a way a good thing for me. Girls are not attracted to me like my brother, hehe. so i dun have to bother about such stuff. And no, i am not deceiving myself.... i was thinking as i was showering and i came to a conclusion that it is a good thing especially in this issue i am facing. And yes, i am thinker, i think whenever, wherever, however?

So peeps, i have a "girlfriend". She has a head, a neck and a body :)

It's time i stop neglecting my guitar.

It was saturday yesterday.

During service, I was going through a spiritual turmoil. The accumulation of doubts about God reached its peak, with nothing happening even at the altar call, i was this close to giving up, ending the walk.

Wanted to talk to Joshua, but he had problems of his own to talk with Bro. Andre. I dun blame you, haha. But thankfully, Sanjay was there. Through him, i was brought out from the cesspool of doubts. Sanjay can be serious at times, just got to..... wait. HAHA. As such, I AM BACK :)

On a less serious note, went to Astons for the first time yesterday. The chicken is juiiiccccyy, tender and flavourful. Though it had quite a bit of burned bits, i still ate it. In other cases, it would be a no-no. Burned bits contain cancer-causing things, you see. I am health conscious at times :)

It is definitely cheaper and tastes better than Botak Jones. Though i have an issue with the portion. Yes, rather big guy, reasonably big appetite, but small wallet. I would go there again, if my wallet gives the go-ahead.

Hmm, i want to talk about a certain love issue. But from my previous experience that ended on a rather awkward note, i will keep this issue to a certain few.


The walk with God is not without trials nor its emotional/mental/spiritual turmoils. But we can count on Him to continue His good work in us :)

A prophesized Victory :)))

I feel so weary in this war with procrastination. I set my mind to do something, be it work or practice, but at the end of the day i accomplished nothing. I feel that i have wasted time that could and would have been put to better use. I do not like that feeling. Nonetheless, i am still NOT gonna give up, there will be a breakthrough :)

And now another spiritual warfare is raging, it is time to lean on God, once again. Got to strengthen my faith, Jesus is my refresher :) A faith so strong that even when the world doubts against God, it still stands unshaken. A faith that is untainted, that comes from Jesus.

My heart cries out... "I need to feel your presence, Lord"

Giganto Amphibiano

Long time since I blogged...

Well, yesterday was a good day. Our solar-powered amphibian car managed to float and run slowly on water. It won 2nd place in a land racing competition with other solar-powered cars. All glory to God :)

With permission from the team, it is named Giganto Amphibiano. Made it sound Italian or Spainish? A little exotic flavour, hehe.

Chao Jing said something that made me want to praise God. :)) It is because of you, Lord, that it is made possible in me. WOOOOOTS !!!

Went to see Mr. Jacob with regards to many aspects of the cycling club, it is time to make the club active and fun :) I got to be a better, efficient and impactful leader :)

I got to practise guitar regularly, gonna form a practice band with members from cyclist club after the holidays, so gonna up my skill level :) When people asked if i play the guitar, i would answer " i am learning to play", with God's blessings i hope to answer "YES" in the near future. Gotta buck up on my Japanese since i stopped going for Japanese classes. Though i quit the lessons, i plan to take my JLPT 3 on 6th December, gonna get me a certificate yo :)

Exams are looming dangerously near, gotta rush those procrastinated tutorials.

As for the issue of love, i will leave it for another day :)

Bankai !! Tear through the books, Mugging Spectacled Nerd :)

Now, what do U see ???

A praise report

Today was a day of God's power.

I prayed some time back that my parents would be back on talking terms after say, 8-10 years? It seemed quite impossible at that time given their past history, but i prayed to God nonetheless.

Today, my mum ordered pizza (that is another thing to praise God about, given my family situation). I was eating and watching "Bruce Lee", when i noticed something was off. My mum and dad was eating at the same table !! Though they didn't talk much, but i could feel and see that the " strangers under one roof" status has changed. To say that isn't done by God would be so wrong, if u knew about the "history".

My faith has increased greatly, God is faithful and works in His own timing. I pray He will continue His good works :))))) I will look back on this victory when i am faced with trials in the present and in the future and know my God is powerful :) He really does the impossible.

My trials may be big, but He who is in me is bigger :)))


Tomorrow, there will be a meeting in the cyclist club. Wonder how it will turn out.

I love God, let nothing hold me back from giving Him all the praise. WOOTS.


Lord, do heal my Godma.

Drained but not empty

Recent days have been a roller-coaster ride of emotions. Feeling down in the doldrums one moment, and joyful the other.

Sad, depressed due to ITP issues, financial issues. Cant go for Overseas ITP due to lack of finances, just felt that it is a very good opportunity missed, for so many reasons. Urrgh.

Doing local ITP kinda scares me, due to lack of familiar faces, working enviroment, and after the Mandarin Oriental hotel stint of '07, i got rather traumatised, haha.

It is getting difficult to continue giving for faith promise, i guess this is where faith comes in. Do not know where the money is going to come from and all. I would like to buy certain things, but i gotta cut down on spending even on food. Gotta trust in God and not place my security on money.

The reason why i feel joyful is that when i am feeling hopeless by my circumstances, He gives me hope. Another batch of hopelessness makes its arrival, and when i am feeling emotionally drained, He renews me yet again.



I wanna fly in an aeroplane.

Another trial, another test. Gotta rise above it. Need God.

Woots. Glory to God :)

Cyclist club training was awesome!! I thought we would not be able to handle the juniors due to the lack of manpower, but by God's grace we did, haha. My stamina is still there, thank God that my recent bout of illness did not lower it :)) My abdominal strength was kinda weak? Gotta improve on it!! Mingled with the juniors a little, rather fun. Adrenaline pump was there.

Rather happy to see Chao Jing, taking the step of leadership from being rather passive in the past. Proud of you, buddy !! We managed to make the juniors enthusiastic, how much, i dunno, haha. We all had fun, while leading, which is important :) Things for the cyclist club are starting to get into motion, club shirts, bikes and all. What we need is regular attendance from the juniors :)

Another thing to give God the glory, was that though i slept late and woke up early, i still felt energetic the whole day. This is a rare occurance for me, who imitates a highly-inefficient capacitor. Basically, take long time to charge, but depletes in a short time.

Was also rather irritated, frustrated due to project work, team-mates and stuff, but i really thank God for giving me peace and taking away the anger. One thing about me is i can get super angry for a short time, but after that the anger kinda dissipates.

Gotta go to school early tomorrow, and there is a high chance i will feel an "awesome" ache too :)

P.S I hardly take photos, explaining the lack of it :)

Reporting for duty :))

Rasseru Kurosaki, Official Non-Commissioned Spiritual Parent reporting for duty :> ONCSP. Hehe, rather lengthy eh.

Just had my interview with Sister Gwen. Went nicely :) Gonna have more commitments and responsibilities now, but it is good :) More opportunities to serve and grow. May God be with me every step of the way, guiding, protecting and mentoring me :))


Thanks to God, my results for the MSTs were fantastic, all glory to Him alone :)

Electromagnetic Devices- 97
Photovoltaic Principles and Materials- 95
Engineering Mathematics II (A)- 100
Sensors and Instrumentation- 100
Japanese Language- 98

THANK YOU :)))

Gonna have another night-cycling reccee later, a little anime and some sleep before heading out. Ciaossu :)

Girls

I got a small problem now. When i see girls, i got this stupid nagging thought/feeling in me, "When am i going to get a girlfriend?" Yea, i got such problems too :)

I think i have reached the "despo stage" in a guy's life. Well, i am sure it will be a passing phase.

However, this is not a question of "I want, I get". I do not want to get into a relationship for the sake of getting into one, be cool or any other reasons other than that of love, one that is approved by God.

Many reasons:
1) It is a relationship that is protected, mentored by God
2) It is based on the definition of love by God, not by the world
3) I am assured however it turns out, it will be for the best
4) I do not want to be in a situation where i wake up one day and the "love" is gone.
5) It ain't a game
6) Some like the thrill, but i want someone i can spend my life with
7) With God, i am assured my wife and i will still be kissing at old age :)) "rather than being strangers under a same roof"

But with all this said, i still find the idea of me being attached far from reality.

Reasons being:
1) I dun think i am "attractive" to girls. My brother took all the handsome genes. God has blessed him. :))
2) I am not confident around girls. 10 years in monkhood might have some part to play.
3) I am rather lame at times. "People who can walk, dun come near me." Arr, see see, what was the first word u thought ?


Well, i am trusting in God for the girl He planned for me uber long ago. And when she comes, i pray God will whack me on the head and say she is the one. So i can be sure, and be courageous to say "HI", and have his blessing for a love that is pleasing to Him. Because if it pleases Him, it most certainly will also please me :)))))) WOOTS.

Saturday's night fever literally :)

Yesterday's Saturday service in church was uber memorable. Best place to be on a Saturday night, haha. Before that, headed to church at 9.20am, 20 minutes shy of being on time. Met up with the TINT crew and started making the props for the event that was to be held later. Made a big spectacles to go with the event (STARE WHAT STARE). Enjoyed it :)

When work on the spectacles was almost completed, Josh went on to do "something" for his project. It is very complicated for me to describe what he did, so "something" would suffice :) Funny things happened while trying to put on his metal suit, piece by piece. The end result was the "walking penknife/disco ball". Layman terms...

Rushed off to briefing on our roles for the event. Joshua, Sanjay and me were the "Men in Black". Had to dress in black shirts and wear black masks. Our role was simple, if the contestants answer wrongly, we rush out to whack them with balloon clappers, if correct, shake their hands.

Super excited, yet nervous at the same time. The reason being Josh and I have variable amounts of stage fright, we thought it would be OK since we were wearing masks. Problem... the mask just covers the eyes. It's like we were going for a masked prom... But Josh said something that soothe the nervous beast in me, "We are doing this for God......." I kinda forgot the second part of the sentence, seeing that after hearing the first part I was like "YES, OK, LET'S GO MAN" in my mind already :))

As the event started, Sis Gwen introduced us as, "The Men in Black, they are 3 guys who are strong and hunky..." We were behind the door, with "dunno what to say" reactions. Some things didnt go as plan, our choreography went a little haywired due to impromptu planning, haha. I was supposed to jump into Sanjay's and Joshua's hands during the introduction. During our practise i wasn't running, so we excecuted the movement well. During the real thing, i was running fast, the momentum caused me to whack Sanjay's nose and Joshua's chin when i jumped. Didnt plan for that to happen -_-"" But everyone laughed, so we achieved the comical results :)

It was so hilarious, whacking people with balloon clappers, then shacking their hands. According to Phyllis, it wasn't the balloon clappers that scared her, but rather us rushing out the door suddenly like mad, crazy barbarians. I hit Lois and also shaked her hand, who by the way, leads Team Invent. I hit the boss.... next meeting.... sure....

!!! It was a first time for me to take part in an event like that. Stepping out of comfort zones is very scary at times, but it always bears unexpected results. In this case, I have grown bolder, and more confident. THANK YOU GOD FOR THE OPPORTUNITY!!!

Oh yeah, having my SP i.e Spritual Parenting interview next friday. Wonder how it will turn out.

Rasseru Kurosaki, peace out !!

試験が終わりました！ ばんざい！ Exams over :)

Exams over :)) My brain is dead, cant think properly.

Today's paper was rather manageable, everyone left early before the time was up. I was checking my answers rather thoroughly, by the time i finished, everyone left. I felt a brain block before the exam started, couldn't think clearly, kept checking my answers, haiz.

Caught up with some homies at the mrt, and impromptuly joined them for window-shopping, seeing there was time before gym session.

I cant seem to type anymore, brain has reached maximum loading capacity for the day. Gotta help out in church tomorrow at 8am. Power.

Want to sleep, need to sleep, so just sleep.

Maths- round 1

I hope the previous post spoke to you :)

Today was Engineering Maths exam, i really fulfilled the term of being on the spot, dot and micro-speck. The moment i came in, the exam was about to be commenced. Thank God :)

As usual, prayed before i started the paper, compared to past year paper (yeah, i only did one, so no 's') it was simpler, in the sense of being more straight-forward. But anyways, i checked as i did, super slow speed as a result.

Wanted to study today, but in the end, i didnt. Arrgh, i see book, i no mood. This despite the fact the exam is in 2 days' time, and i have not started.