My thoughts

If familiarity causes us to take each other for granted, and insults becomes a way of bonding. I would rather us be acquaintances, or strangers who just met. At least we had a form of respect between us. I would continue saying my thanks, giving people the respect i would like to receive, i will try my best. It is not because we ain't close, just that i do not want to take you for granted. Being close does not mean we should stop respecting each other.

Though i might not have faith in God, or whether He is there. I am not going to hate God for that matter.

I will still search for God with a daily prayer.

Do not hate any part of yourself because the world deems it as ugly. The world's idea of beauty is flawed, ever changing with every tide. A beautiful person is one with a beautiful soul. That is my opinion.

I always believed that when it is time i will meet the girl i am destined for, where we will weathered the trials of this life together, strengthening each other, growing each other spiritually. Where the love between us will be ever increasing through the trials of times. This belief was based on the providence of God.

Now that my faith in God has diminished. I am not confident of being in a relationship or in a marriage for that matter. I do not want to be married only to be divorced or be strangers under one roof. No. If i am married, i want to be in love. In love not only for 2 or 3 years. But till my time is up on this earth.

I cannot handle the consequences of looking at you one moment more. I would be mesmerized by your physical beauty yet again. I would rather be captivated by your inner beauty. I am not confident of loving you till the end of my life. I will shut these feelings i have, and treat you like a friend.

About marriage

I chanced upon this article about MM Lee's eulogy in Facebook, haha. I decided to read about it as i thought it could give me insight about a blessed marriage. It did. Their marriage is a testament that contrary to the negative view of marriages, there can be a "happily ever after".

My definition of "happily ever after" is by no means, not divorced nor strangers living under one roof. But rather, still in love with each other.

Why don't we see it that often? Maybe it is not that publicized or we probably think it is something that occurs naturally, even though we do not think in such a manner, our actions might prove otherwise. A couple need to work together to become an individual. As noted from the Bible, a man and a woman shall become one. Haha, come to think of it, God pretty much gave us the formula for a blessed marriage a long long time ago.

How can there be arguments in an individual? Or how can we hate our partner, would it not be the same as hating ourself ?

This "happily ever after" needs to be a conscious effort. To quote from MM Lee, "Over the years, she influenced my writing style. Now I write in short simple sentences, in the active voice. We gradually influenced each other's ways and habits, as we adjusted and accommodated each other. We knew that we could not stay starry-eyed lovers all our lives; that life was an ever on-going challenge with new problems to resolve and manage. "

What is our definition of "happily ever after"? What are our definitions influenced by? By the media? Or by the true essence of love?